I wonder if to bear your soul in order to banish inner demons is really the best way to go?
Or does it make you the kind of person that friends ignore because all they want is the LOL’s and the distance modern-day friendship brings.
I wonder if people understand that sometimes to be asked ‘How are you’ is the one question you dread?
The answer no longer able to hide the insanity that eats away your soul, chaining you to the walls of inner torment.
I wonder if they know that sometimes the only way to cope is to search the cess pool of emotion we call life for an answer?
Not laden them with the responsibilities you yourself have to face.
I wonder if they know that to talk things through is not always possible?
As despair chokes the words while complacency looks on laughing.
I wonder if they know what it means to be truly alone in the ‘Real ‘world?
Or that those you’ve made on the great www. are usually the be all and end of human interaction.
I wonder if they’d believe me if I told them why this is?
Or whether they’d ask why because they felt they should.
I wonder if they’d listen if I were to try to explain?
Or if they’d understand just how much they’ve come to mean to me.
I wonder if the joy I’ve felt since they’ve entered my world is real?
Or if they’d accept this wretched soul can no longer pretend that everything’s Ok.
I wonder if they’d understand if I told them Maria doesn’t exist in Reah’s world and that over this I have no control?
I Wonder.
R.M Roberts ©2010
Tales From Behind A Cushion 
Very interesting and thoughtful read to say the least. I too wonder if it is a good idea for others to read, I mean for the writer to share out in the open and in the public eye. Though, I can safely say Maria, I mean Reah, that there are many of us who so often feel desperately despairingly dreadful about things, feeling, and in life in general.
Is it “good” or theoretical to share this in the open world though?
Alas, I can only speak of my own experiences and resoundingly say, speak the truth and say, “Not no, but hell no!”
Unless he or she likes dashing her soul against the rocks some more, more so than already. Whomever said it is good for one to “talk” about these things is full of shit, I mean shite.
However, it is “good” so that others may know and draw from. To understand that others may feel the same sort of way in their respective lives?
I think so, I truly do…
Nothing is more alone, more dangerous to the soul of the soul than the silent scream and the sirens of madness to embrace upon. Still, we, too many, too many faces within the sea of faces to agree and nod upon.
Friends whether on line or off line are the same. In life, we are all people, the Internet is the reflection of this. There are as many shallow, soulless, mindless people incapable of mercies, understanding, critical thinking, and with absolute certainly, could not, cannot read or comprehend the lines given in your post, let alone between the lines. The good news is that there are those who will take the time from their day, stop, and look you dead in the eye through your window and facade into your soul disrobe you “armour” and ask you, “Maria, how are you really doing?”
Your pal,
Douglas
Jeepers, I thought you had been spying on me and knew exactly how I was feeling with the first half. Scarey!
Hey, if you ever want to try and explain then feel free to try me. I may be crap at giving advice but I hate to think that anyone is crying alone, so am (usually) always ready to listen. Big hugs. xx
Great writing.
Hey there Rachel..Scary isn’t it that we can all feel this way at times and not even realise. But I think I know you well enough to know when those ((Hugs)) are needed we’re there for each other.
xxx
Not sure what to say because I don’t know you. I see this is very personal – but you put it out there for all to see – which is part of the message of the post.
Hopefully, we will get to know each other – or at least, me you – as I read more.
I didn’t want to say nothing – I have read it, it is worth reading – I just don’t fully understand yet.